How does one respond effectively to sexist remarks? The original intent of this site was to explore options and present women and men with strategies for addressing those types of comments during everyday conversations. The overall goal, however, was not simply to build a list of catchy retorts—although those can be very helpful and I particularly like the list that Steve put together in his post “Setting Boundaries in 15 Words or Less”—but rather to educate people about the need to stop sexist remarks.
What we really need is prevention. Simply responding to sexist remarks is akin to scooping water out of a sinking boat rather than checking the boat for leaks before leaving the dock. It doesn’t mean that we should stop figuring out how to respond effectively to sexist comments because those situations present incredible learning/teaching moments, as Steve discussed in his last post. Simultaneously, however, we need to focus on the bigger goal of creating environments—at work, home, and school, and in the business, political, educational, and religious arenas—that are free of sexist remarks and other forms of gender discrimination.
This means, as prevention always does, taking action on the front end. We need to help community and private institutions (and family members and friends) to train or educate those with whom they are engaged about why sexist remarks are inappropriate (damaging actually, as some of the research Steve has highlighted in his posts suggests). And we need to encourage them to set limits through policy and practice (including everyday conversations) that clearly defines acceptable language for talking to or about women and girls.
Check out the Take Action section of this site—where we provide detailed strategies for getting started—and decide today to broach the subject of ending sexist remarks in a setting where you (or those around you) encounter such comments. And watch for new information on taking action to prevent sexist remarks in other settings—we will let you know when that becomes available.
Because in stopping sexist remarks, an ounce of prevention just might be worth a pound of cure.
Cynthia
The author is right on the money to educate men and women not only on sexist remarks but also traditional believes. It too easy to just listen and not respond. That it is not okay for these jokes and remarks to be aired.
mary@transitionaldreams.com
New life story for women transitional coach
HI Cynthia:
I love this web site and it’s perfect for stopping the everyday sexist remarks that some uncaring men do to demean and insult women. Why do they do this/ Because they feel they can and making jokes about women they won’t get “beat up” or some other thing. They even insult their own peers and call each other names like a big joke.
Nevertheless, you are right that remarks and slang terms downgrade women and make them uncomfortable in the workplace. How can hard working and intelligent women work under these conditions? It’s hard and causes stress, and if they report their colleagues for sexual discrimination they become “victims” and the pressure is even worse.
I have seen it myself in my company, yes we had a Human Resources Department and Sexual Discrimination policy but some of the men still didn’t give women the respect they deserve. This is why I became a pro-feminist male and have been reading, writing my own feminist web blog, attended feminist and women author book signings and volunteering for women’s movements. Like Code Pinks Boston, NARAL Pro-Choice, Planned Parenthood, Avon Walk and the Susan Komen Walk for Breast Cancer, and joining a Men’s Feminist Group (where all the men are very supportive of the women’s movement.) I also post women’s organizations on my Face Book page http://www.facebook.com/home.php#/profile.php?id=730801782&ref=profile
Well, I have to go visit my dad, he’s in rehab so have a great day.
Thank you for a wonderful recourse and I will be posting more on your web site if you allow me too. Kudos.
(((((huggs)))))
Love,
George
Will these type of comments never end? I am of an age where these comments have been common place for years. Unfortunately, this is still happening. It is very difficult to speak up in the work place for fear of reprisals no matter how unlawful. I continue to speak up and educate those around me and try to encourage action.