Dealing with sexist remarks—or any negative or demeaning comment—is never easy. Whether those comments are made in the workplace or other community institutions, in the neighborhood, or at social events, they create tension and make people (especially the recipient) feel uncomfortable.
Since launching this blog, we have witnessed firsthand the struggles that people face in deciding how (and perhaps whether) to deal with sexist remarks. We also have noticed that while the site has had a fair amount of traffic given that it is fairly new and not connected to a national organization, only a handful of people have left comments or ideas about how to respond effectively when confronted with a sexist remark.
We realize that there are no simple answers to the tough questions about sexist remarks—dealing with sexist comments is not a one-size-fits-all type of strategy. Every time that you encounter a sexist remark, you are required to assess myriad issues fairly quickly. Those include the time and place, the overall circumstances, the people involved (and around you), your perception of the intent of the person making the comment, the odds that responding will generate some positive outcome versus the potential risks of speaking up (especially on the job), and your own style and level of comfort.
The fact that it is challenging to deal effectively with sexist remarks is all the more reason for us to work together to do so. We therefore created a section of the blog called Answering the Tough Questions About Sexist Remarks and left the spaces for the answers empty. We had planned to post the responses to the questions provided by visitors to the blog, but to date no one has filled in the blanks.
So beginning this week, we will share our initial thoughts about how we would answer the questions, beginning with number 1 and working our way through the current list. We will post an announcement on the main page as we answer each question, with a reminder that we have left a spot for each of you to do the same. Remember—there are no correct answers, so just share your experiences under the question that we are highlighting that week. Tell us about what has worked for you in dealing with sexist remarks, tell your stories, or simply raise related questions.
Answering the tough questions about sexist remarks—toward the goal of ending sexist comments altogether—will be a little easier if we all work together.
We look forward to hearing from you.
Cynthia and Steve
