Here’s an idea if you’re ever feeling discouraged or need inspiration about the importance of ending sexist remarks. Go back and listen to a few songs from “Free to Be You and Me,” the ground-breaking music album, storybook, and then television show put together by Marlo Thomas in 1972. She created the record to teach her then-young niece about life; specifically, Marlo wanted an entertaining way to show her and other children that the gender stereotypes in many children’s books do not represent the way life has to be. (At the time of a 1998 study, for example, books for kids still were frequently portraying girls as “sweet, naïve, conforming, and dependent” while boys were depicted as “strong, adventurous, independent, and capable.”) Though the primary audience of “Free to Be You and Me” is children, the album’s messages are at least as important for the adults who shape children’s behavior and outlook.
My siblings and I grew up with the songs on that old “Free to Be You and Me” LP. We didn’t know at the time that the message at the heart of those songs was truly radical: that liberty isn’t just about the freedom to assemble, to express opinions, and the like. It’s also freedom from gender stereotypes and gender roles—that if boys are so inclined, they should be encouraged to enjoy dolls and if girls are interested, they should pursue engineering. That both fathers and mothers are responsible for taking care of and spending time with children. That housework is the province of both men and women, girls and boys. On the album, star NFL defensive lineman Rosy Grier sings about it being all right for boys to cry. Diana Ross and Michael Jackson do a song about being comfortable with who you are, that boys don’t have to be tall and girls don’t have to be pretty. And the title track lays out the vision of a world of limitless possibilities: “There’s a land that I see where the children are free . . . And you and me are free to be you and me.”
“Free to Be You and Me” helps remind us what the effort to end sexist comments is all about. When we stand up to those remarks, we model for those around us, and our children, the kind of society we want to have—where gender is a component of a child’s makeup but should never constrain their choices or ability to express themselves. It’s often said that America is a place where people can achieve their dreams as long as they’re willing to work for it. Getting beyond sexist remarks and gender discrimination is a key piece of allowing our country to truly be a place where people’s potential is limited only by their imagination.
Since the album was released, I haven’t seen any products for children that have quite so clearly and entertainingly communicated a vision for a gender-bias-free society. (Though there are quite a few children’s books that depict strong girls and women—see the Women’s National Book Association’s annual list here.) So over the last few years I’ve been buying “Free to Be You and Me” for all of the children in my life—you can do so too by visiting the Free to Be You and Me Foundation’s website here.
Steve
