The Cost of Coping

Yale psychology professor Marianne LaFrance is studying the effects of “subtle sexual harassment” on women in the workplace—situations in which men create a hostile work environment through insid­i­ous forms of sexism. These include graf­fiti, pic­tures, sounds, ges­tures, casual remarks, and jokes that take place at what she calls a “low level.” 

These forms of sexism, she says, rarely meet with cor­po­rate action or legal redress. As a result, the vic­tims of such harass­ment usually are left one option—figure out a coping strategy. They ignore the offen­sive behav­ior, physically mov­e away, avoid circumstances in which they’ll likely encounter it, or try to defuse the situation by “becom­ing one of the boys”—plac­ing them­selves in the role of aggres­sor rather than of vic­tim—and prov­ing they can take the joke. 

LaFrance also points to data indicating the cost of being the target of such behavior: a higher likelihood of depres­sion, irri­tabil­ity, anx­i­ety, and con­fu­sion, and lower levels of achievement, self-esteem, gen­eral life sat­is­fac­tion, and basic opti­mism about per­sonal relationships. (So much for the abominable idea that sexist remarks are a form of “free speech,” which we addressed here and here.) 

As a result, the study indicates that  we should not try to convince ourselves that subtle sexism doesn’t matter. Whether we choose to respond in the moment, go away and figure out a response at a later time, or decide that under the circumstances the costs of responding are too great, acknowledging the importance of subtle sexism is the first step toward doing something about it. 

Perhaps most important, it’s helpful to remind ourselves of this truth: sexist remarks are the problem; our reaction to them is not. Doctors used to tell patients who complained of low energy and a general feeling of malaise that the problem was “all in their head” or that they were hypochondriacs—until researchers discovered chronic fatigue syndrome. Sexist remarks are a symptom of a serious malady—an attempt to hold back equal opportunity for girls and women. When we choose, we can respond to those who discount our reactions to sexist remarks the way that patients finally did to these doctors regarding their ailments—insisting, quietly but firmly, that they are real, serious, and worthy of attention. 

Steve

 

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One Response to “The Cost of Coping”

  1. Km says:

    Thank you for posting this. It is exactly what I needed to read- it validated something I was trying to explain to someone who has been making sexist comments, but the type people believe are ‘innocent’ or ‘non impactful’. It’s great to read this and feel ‘backed up’ that all sexist comments have a negative impact and need to be addressed.

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