Stop Sexist Remarks

A few weeks ago, two grassroots organizations—the Older Women’s League (OWL) and Social Security Works—called for the resignation of former Senator Alan Simpson as co-chair of President Obama’s debt commission because of what they said was a sexist and offensive comment. Simpson’s remark came in an e-mail reply to OWL’s executive director, Ashley Carson, following an article critical of him that she’d written in the Huffington Post. After denigrating Carson’s article and career in insulting terms (and not responding to its substance), Simpson closed his e-mail by comparing Social Security to “a milk cow with 310 million tits.” 

I found Simpson’s remark—in fact, the whole tone of his reply—offensive on two levels. First, it was aggressive and crudely worded, certainly not befitting the co-chair of a major federal commission. And second, it denigrated a federal program on which millions of Americans will rely to retire (and, by the way, have paid into), showing little of the thoughtfulness and ability to empathize with the less well off that we should expect from our leaders. 

But was the milk cow reference sexist? 

It made me think again about how I define a sexist remark. I think it’s a useful question, because a loose, overused definition could well undermine our attempts to change things. 

So for the consideration of our readers, here are a few proposed questions to test whether a remark is sexist: 

1. Is the remark designed to make women (but not men) uncomfortable?  
2. Does the remark limit women’s (but not men’s) freedom of expression or behavior?  
3. Is the remark likely to make those who hear it take women less than seriously because of their gender?  
4. Could the remark also be applied to men and make sense?  
5. Does the remark make generalizations about individuals based on gender?  

Obviously not all of these are answerable in or applicable to every situation. But maybe they’re a place to start to get a feel for how we’re reacting to something that’s been said. 

And since men can’t always know the answers to some of these questions or what a particular remark might feel like to a woman, it can be helpful for men to think about how our wife/daughter/niece, etc. might answer these questions or be affected by the comment. Better yet, we can ask them. 

So is the Simpson quote sexist? It’s certainly crude, small-minded, and aggressive (and Cynthia thinks it is sexist). Given the context—an e-mail to the leader of an organization representing older women—I suspect that it is because the “cow” reference is such a common slur directed at women that it appears specially designed make OWL’s leader feel uncomfortable and demeaned. 

Of course, the only way to know the intent for sure would be to ask Senator Simpson, which perhaps Carson did. So when a comment is made that we think is sexist, initiating a conversation with the person making it about their intentions, and the remark’s impact on us or women in general, can be a good approach (when that’s possible and appropriate). 

But I’d love to hear reactions and other perspectives from our readers, both about this situation and how you decide whether a remark is sexist.

Steve

This entry was posted on Wednesday, September 29th, 2010 at 1:17 am and is filed under Uncategorized. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.