Comments for Stop Sexist Remarks http://www.stopsexistremarks.org Creating Change One Conversation at a Time Thu, 19 Jan 2012 15:24:40 +0000 hourly 1 http://wordpress.org/?v=abc Comment on General Comments by Natalie http://www.stopsexistremarks.org/general-comments/comment-page-1/#comment-21756 Natalie Thu, 19 Jan 2012 15:24:40 +0000 http://sexistremarks.wordpress.com/?page_id=778#comment-21756 What I find so difficult is having worked with men my entire working life. From the United States Army all the way until now where I am the only female field service engineer in my company! The issue I have seen is woman have the tendancy to respect men when addressing them. For example, I was attending a course given by a woman and not once did she single me out for being the only woman nor did she give the course as if I was not there at all. She respected everyone and used words like people. However, I found that when men that are not concious of their sexist behavior give a course where there are few females or addressing a group with women they have to excuse themselves immediately or state "No offense" after they already chose to say an offensive comment. This really makes me uncomfortable, but what makes it worse is my co-workers including a woman supervisor choose to shrug it off. It sucks trying to come up with the right words to say how I felt, but I didn't and I felt worse not saying something. If I could go back or this happens again my strategy is to state " If you are unable to include me or any other woman as part of this group then I should leave until you can". I think that really sends the message and regardless of how others feel I cannot control that, but people should be treated fairly and be just as respected as other genders, religion, political beliefs, sexual orinetaion, sex and physicaly or mentally impaired individuals in all aspects of life. Great to see a place where people can talk about this issue. What I find so difficult is having worked with men my entire working life. From the United States Army all the way until now where I am the only female field service engineer in my company! The issue I have seen is woman have the tendancy to respect men when addressing them. For example, I was attending a course given by a woman and not once did she single me out for being the only woman nor did she give the course as if I was not there at all. She respected everyone and used words like people. However, I found that when men that are not concious of their sexist behavior give a course where there are few females or addressing a group with women they have to excuse themselves immediately or state “No offense” after they already chose to say an offensive comment. This really makes me uncomfortable, but what makes it worse is my co-workers including a woman supervisor choose to shrug it off. It sucks trying to come up with the right words to say how I felt, but I didn’t and I felt worse not saying something.

If I could go back or this happens again my strategy is to state ” If you are unable to include me or any other woman as part of this group then I should leave until you can”. I think that really sends the message and regardless of how others feel I cannot control that, but people should be treated fairly and be just as respected as other genders, religion, political beliefs, sexual orinetaion, sex and physicaly or mentally impaired individuals in all aspects of life. Great to see a place where people can talk about this issue.

]]> Comment on Take Action by Enhui http://www.stopsexistremarks.org/2011/05/03/take-action/comment-page-1/#comment-21331 Enhui Thu, 05 Jan 2012 16:18:36 +0000 http://www.stopsexistremarks.org/?p=2343#comment-21331 It's 20 minutes past midnight in Singapore and I've just spent the past 4 hours reading every single post on your awesome site! Thank you so much for setting up such an amazing and timely blog and I really hope you will continue to encourage and inspire women and men everywhere to stand in protest against sexist remarks in the public square. It feels really good to know there are people like you (and Steve) out there who care about these issues and are actively taking a stand against the pervasive sexism that, sadly, still exists in our modern day and age. This blog is so awesome - I can't believe there are so few comments! It’s 20 minutes past midnight in Singapore and I’ve just spent the past 4 hours reading every single post on your awesome site! Thank you so much for setting up such an amazing and timely blog and I really hope you will continue to encourage and inspire women and men everywhere to stand in protest against sexist remarks in the public square. It feels really good to know there are people like you (and Steve) out there who care about these issues and are actively taking a stand against the pervasive sexism that, sadly, still exists in our modern day and age. This blog is so awesome – I can’t believe there are so few comments!

]]> Comment on Post Your Ideas for Stopping Sexist Remarks by lena http://www.stopsexistremarks.org/post-your-ideas-for-responding-to-sexist-remarks/comment-page-1/#comment-18434 lena Wed, 12 Oct 2011 05:09:29 +0000 http://sexistremarks.wordpress.com/?page_id=770#comment-18434 i go to a very progressive liberal arts school, known for its strong leftist feminist leanings. and yet, as with the rest of the world, the social structure's are male dominated. younger girls are treated poorly, and their is a sense of competition for the few men that are not gay. For a girl to be respected and accepted by the cool crowd she has to be more than just a girl, she has to be a chill homegirl, a down chick (or really attractive and even then theirs no guarantee) as if being a woman in itself does not require respect. Some guys i'm friends with have been treating girls badly and making 'ironic' sexist jokes, and generally negating female power, so I have been confronting them, telling them that this is not funny to me because regardless of how ironic they believe it to be, the real irony is that they are propigating oppression, by making women the subject of jokes at all. i have been completely alienated and invalidated on all sides, with my male friends telling me that i'm 'too uptight' and 'need to chill' and my female friends telling me that im wasting my energy and that they see no point in speaking out. i dont like this feeling of invalidation and ostracization. i just really wish i had some validation or better yet, allies. i go to a very progressive liberal arts school, known for its strong leftist feminist leanings. and yet, as with the rest of the world, the social structure’s are male dominated. younger girls are treated poorly, and their is a sense of competition for the few men that are not gay. For a girl to be respected and accepted by the cool crowd she has to be more than just a girl, she has to be a chill homegirl, a down chick (or really attractive and even then theirs no guarantee) as if being a woman in itself does not require respect. Some guys i’m friends with have been treating girls badly and making ‘ironic’ sexist jokes, and generally negating female power, so I have been confronting them, telling them that this is not funny to me because regardless of how ironic they believe it to be, the real irony is that they are propigating oppression, by making women the subject of jokes at all. i have been completely alienated and invalidated on all sides, with my male friends telling me that i’m ‘too uptight’ and ‘need to chill’ and my female friends telling me that im wasting my energy and that they see no point in speaking out. i dont like this feeling of invalidation and ostracization. i just really wish i had some validation or better yet, allies.

]]> Comment on General Comments by AKG http://www.stopsexistremarks.org/general-comments/comment-page-1/#comment-18054 AKG Thu, 22 Sep 2011 15:09:48 +0000 http://sexistremarks.wordpress.com/?page_id=778#comment-18054 My boyfriend, who (by the way) has a 21 year old daughter, works for a large corporation that facilitates the hiring of women in executive positions. For a while, whenever he would complain about his bosses or co-workers, he would refer to them as "my girl boss" or "that gal". Yet, I knew the names of his male bosses and co-workers. I put a stop to that by simply saying, "I don't like it when you refer to the females at your work in that way. Please start using their names". He did. Last night, he was complaining again about the people at work, using their names and sighting his female boss and a male boss as the problems. We're all people and some are good at what they do and some aren't. Plenty of people manage to get in positions where they don't belong. What bothered me was at the end of his complaining about her and her male counterpart's incompetence he said; "I guess that's one of the benefits of being female". After I told him it was inappropriate for him to single out her gender, he said he was just recognizing the company policy. I felt that as a sexist comment and perceived that as him saying the female was hired merely because of company policy. I asked why he didn't bring up the gender of the incompetent male and asked how he thought this man managed to get hired by the same company and put in the same position. He was defensive. We are still in discussion about this, and I'd appreciate some help in getting him to understand how that thought process from men makes it difficult for women to be seen as equals whether they are competent or not. It's those thought processes that will continue to make it difficult for women (including his daughter) to be treated as equals. My boyfriend, who (by the way) has a 21 year old daughter, works for a large corporation that facilitates the hiring of women in executive positions. For a while, whenever he would complain about his bosses or co-workers, he would refer to them as “my girl boss” or “that gal”. Yet, I knew the names of his male bosses and co-workers. I put a stop to that by simply saying, “I don’t like it when you refer to the females at your work in that way. Please start using their names”. He did.

Last night, he was complaining again about the people at work, using their names and sighting his female boss and a male boss as the problems. We’re all people and some are good at what they do and some aren’t. Plenty of people manage to get in positions where they don’t belong. What bothered me was at the end of his complaining about her and her male counterpart’s incompetence he said; “I guess that’s one of the benefits of being female”. After I told him it was inappropriate for him to single out her gender, he said he was just recognizing the company policy. I felt that as a sexist comment and perceived that as him saying the female was hired merely because of company policy. I asked why he didn’t bring up the gender of the incompetent male and asked how he thought this man managed to get hired by the same company and put in the same position. He was defensive.

We are still in discussion about this, and I’d appreciate some help in getting him to understand how that thought process from men makes it difficult for women to be seen as equals whether they are competent or not. It’s those thought processes that will continue to make it difficult for women (including his daughter) to be treated as equals.

]]> Comment on Post Your Ideas for Stopping Sexist Remarks by CJS http://www.stopsexistremarks.org/post-your-ideas-for-responding-to-sexist-remarks/comment-page-1/#comment-17399 CJS Wed, 31 Aug 2011 22:18:11 +0000 http://sexistremarks.wordpress.com/?page_id=770#comment-17399 My visit to a walk-in clinic doctor who was supposed to give me medical advice on a suspicious mole left me with a feeling I can't really put to words. After my visit, he asked about my age and what I was studying. I thought he was being polite until I answered criminal justice major and he made a disgusted face and smirked. He then replied, "and then what?" I firmly told him that I was specifically interested in probation and he then had a loss of words and became flustered and muttered under his breath and said "really??? It’s a tough job for woman." I was completely humiliated and insulted. Not only did he insult my career goal but my gender. Yes, I can see how it would be a "tough" job in the stress sense, but what job isn't stressful? If he did say it's a tough job, in general, I think I would agree and say sure I can see that but to question my capabilities as a woman is completely degrading. The worst part of it all was that I felt so defenseless. I wish I stood up for myself and told him that his comments and opinions were uncalled for. My visit to a walk-in clinic doctor who was supposed to give me medical advice on a suspicious mole left me with a feeling I can’t really put to words. After my visit, he asked about my age and what I was studying. I thought he was being polite until I answered criminal justice major and he made a disgusted face and smirked. He then replied, “and then what?” I firmly told him that I was specifically interested in probation and he then had a loss of words and became flustered and muttered under his breath and said “really??? It’s a tough job for woman.” I was completely humiliated and insulted. Not only did he insult my career goal but my gender. Yes, I can see how it would be a “tough” job in the stress sense, but what job isn’t stressful? If he did say it’s a tough job, in general, I think I would agree and say sure I can see that but to question my capabilities as a woman is completely degrading. The worst part of it all was that I felt so defenseless. I wish I stood up for myself and told him that his comments and opinions were uncalled for.

]]> Comment on Take Action by liz http://www.stopsexistremarks.org/take-action/comment-page-1/#comment-10591 liz Fri, 11 Mar 2011 08:02:43 +0000 http://sexistremarks.wordpress.com/take-action/#comment-10591 i was called a silly woman by a teacher at my sons high school. I made a complaint to the school . he admitted it. he also told me i was driving to slow for him as he was behind me on the rd . but i want an apology from him in person. and I want more done. what shall i do now, as i feel the school have brushed it under the carpet. thanks in advance lizzi i was called a silly woman by a teacher at my sons high school. I made a complaint to the school . he admitted it. he also told me i was driving to slow for him as he was behind me on the rd . but i want an apology from him in person. and I want more done. what shall i do now, as i feel the school have brushed it under the carpet.

thanks in advance

lizzi

]]> Comment on by Anonymous http://www.stopsexistremarks.org/effectiveness/comment-page-1/#comment-10541 Anonymous Wed, 09 Mar 2011 12:11:24 +0000 http://www.stopsexistremarks.org/?page_id=1880#comment-10541 My sports teacher is very degrading to our team And coos over the boys and puts US down in shame, what do I do to stop this I feel powerless ? My sports teacher is very degrading to our team And coos over the boys and puts US down in shame, what do I do to stop this I feel powerless ?

]]> Comment on Post Your Ideas for Stopping Sexist Remarks by Anonymous http://www.stopsexistremarks.org/post-your-ideas-for-responding-to-sexist-remarks/comment-page-1/#comment-10540 Anonymous Wed, 09 Mar 2011 12:07:11 +0000 http://sexistremarks.wordpress.com/?page_id=770#comment-10540 My school has many sexist teachers but the thing is there mainly female. Today my teacher told us we were 'bad' at cricket so we should Lear from the pros ' the boy's so she addressed them and the experts the entire time. It was so degrading that I cried my eyes out because of it. My school has many sexist teachers but the thing is there mainly female. Today my teacher told us we were ‘bad’ at cricket so we should Lear from the pros ‘ the boy’s so she addressed them and the experts the entire time. It was so degrading that I cried my eyes out because of it.

]]> Comment on General Comments by AJ http://www.stopsexistremarks.org/general-comments/comment-page-1/#comment-10401 AJ Wed, 02 Mar 2011 21:27:41 +0000 http://sexistremarks.wordpress.com/?page_id=778#comment-10401 This site is trying to tackle some very subtle ways that language can be used to either reinforce existing negative attitudes or to seed the shift away from them. I appreciate how well written and fair the advice and stories are and find them encouraging and helpful. I will continue to read this site and suggest it to my friends. Thank you. This site is trying to tackle some very subtle ways that language can be used to either reinforce existing negative attitudes or to seed the shift away from them. I appreciate how well written and fair the advice and stories are and find them encouraging and helpful. I will continue to read this site and suggest it to my friends. Thank you.

]]> Comment on General Comments by JhinTO http://www.stopsexistremarks.org/general-comments/comment-page-1/#comment-10113 JhinTO Sat, 19 Feb 2011 16:45:59 +0000 http://sexistremarks.wordpress.com/?page_id=778#comment-10113 Yesterday my husband attended an agricultural conference and while there his colleague emailed a suggestion that while he was there he could pick up a "hoe" for the weekend and have some fun. My husband thought this was hilarious, not sexist. I disagree. He feels we should just agree to disagree but I feel this speaks to fundamental values about women. Please share your views on this one. I need some support but if you feel I am being another old fashioned feminist which is what I have been called I will let it go. I am often berated for trying to change my husband. Yesterday my husband attended an agricultural conference and while there his colleague emailed a suggestion that while he was there he could pick up a “hoe” for the weekend and have some fun. My husband thought this was hilarious, not sexist. I disagree. He feels we should just agree to disagree but I feel this speaks to fundamental values about women. Please share your views on this one. I need some support but if you feel I am being another old fashioned feminist which is what I have been called I will let it go. I am often berated for trying to change my husband.

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